Two years into the journey it’s time I selected an American football team to support. But it’s really very difficult without the personal or cultural signposts that lead to lifelong fandom. Neither do I have the guidance of a father for who the Munich Air Disaster meant that it was Manchester United or nothing.
For the first time I find myself trying to answer the question I put whenever I see an American soccer fan in a bar wearing a Leeds shirt. Why? I usually don’t ask them that question until I’ve run through the plot of the Damned United and excoriated Don Revie for forsaking the England manager’s job to take the Saudi shekels. Then I explain that Billy Bremner and Johnny Giles may have looked like the Krankies but were actually spawn of the devil.
Unless you were a Loiner it was impossible to be brought up in the 1970s and support Leeds United. The old Elland Road ground was reminiscent of the Coliseum with every visitor an object of venom and bile – and that was just on the pitch. Fans vied with those of Millwall for exclusive rights to embody the chant of ‘nobody likes us and we don’t care’.
In my search for advice I have found that passions and partisan feelings run deep with close friends suggesting that the Dallas Cowboys and the New England Patriots are irredeemable. Their respective crimes of declaring themselves ‘America’s team’ and being serial cheats/winners (depending on your view) mitigate against them. And there is an assertion that the Ravens are wholly unacceptable because of ‘crimes against the Steelers’.
A long chat with a friend’s son gave me a quick rundown of other no-go areas and counts as my Gen Z research. Washington Redskins are pariahs for not dealing with the offensive symbology of their name and logo. The newer franchises don’t have enough history, so the Houston Texans are gone. For similar reasons I discarded the Jacksonville Jaguars and the Carolina Panthers – although to be fair their franchises date back to 1995.
For someone born in the UK and used to clubs with very long traditions and a real dislike of the way Wimbledon were shunted up the M1 to become the MK Dons it’s also difficult to be serious about clubs which have changed city and name. The Indianapolis Colts were once in Baltimore, the Tennessee Titans were previously the Houston Oilers, the LA Chargers used to be in San Diego, the Oakland Raiders were in LA for 12 years then came back, and the LA Rams spent 20 years as the St Louis Rams. It’s bewildering.
It’s a luxury and selfish but I was too scarred by Manchester United’s year in the old Second Division to adopt a team that is not very good. So I have rejected the Cleveland Browns, Tampa Bay Buccaneers and New York Jets for serial underperformance. The Arizona Cardinals and Cincinnati Bengals failed at that hurdle as have the Detroit Lions who haven’t ever been to a SuperBowl.
To narrow the field I eventually decided most teams in the south of the country were out – partly because I’ve only ever supported a team in the north of the country. But also, I think that a team should play most of its home games with the possibility of snow, ice and freezing temperatures. It’s the way professional sports with a ball should test a home team and after watching Game of Thrones I’m always reminded that ‘winter is coming’ is a good way to think of life.
Continuing on that basis I can’t really love any team that plays in a dome which is a shame because the Minnesota Vikings could have secured my allegiance. There is something inherently wrong about professional sportspeople being shielded from the elements and fans being deprived of the wonders of sitting for three hours in pouring rain to demonstrate their allegiance. I may be alone in my thinking, but it would be so much better if basketball was played outside, on a bumpy pitch, in the rain with the possibility of a strong gust of wind making a three-point effort look ridiculous.
Assem Allam’s attempt to rename Hull City AFC as Hull Tigers is a reminder that it’s OK to have an animal nickname – bonus point to anyone who can remember which UK team is the ‘throstles’ – but City, United and Rovers are sufficient for most purposes. So I had to dispense with the Bears (Chicago), Buffalo (Bills), and the Eagles (Philadelphia). Anthropomorphism is cute but not acceptable in my pursuit of a logical answer.
For those who have followed this far it may be obvious that I have come down to the Green Bay Packers and the Pittsburgh Steelers as the contenders. Uniquely, the Packers are the only non-profit and ‘owned’ by their fans team in the NFL and will remain so after the 1960 Constitution of the League came into force. The ownership of the Steelers has remained within the Rooney family since the organization’s founding. The Packers are the third oldest NFL franchise and the Steelers are the oldest franchise in the AFC.
Both are sufficiently embedded in tradition and location to be secure for the long term. While they each have a history of success they are currently trying to find their way back to former glories. It’s a tough choice but I have time.
Image by Keith Johnston from Pixabay